In Bozeman, Montana, there is graffiti inscribed on an old grain silo that caused me to smile. In fading white paint it reads: “Bucky Cummings eats sushi with a fork.”
Merely eating sushi in the formerly wild west might be enough to test one’s manhood. To do so with a fork, apparently brings public ridicule as well.
More seriously, however, I’m astonished at how much effort some men put into puffing up their sense of manhood. Yet the harder one tries to appear manly, it seems, the more easily the fragility of the ego is revealed.
Amid the “God, guns and guts” persona is a particularly baffling question: Why do so many professing Christian men seek out tough-guy models of manliness when we have Jesus to follow?
Jesus never assigned gender specific instructions when commanding his followers to love God fully and one’s neighbor as oneself. And he certainly didn’t tell men to lord over others.
Our homes, churches, communities and world would be much better places if those of us who happen to be male would model ourselves after Jesus’ example and teachings rather than someone else’s view of manliness.
Attributes deemed “fruit of the Spirit” — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control — are not divided by gender either. (Galatians 5:22-23)
Yet those who desire control are quick to construct hierarchal structures deemed biblical — even if at odds with Jesus’ teaching.
Disgraced Bible teacher Bill Gothard, who used his authoritative position to groom young women, was among those teaching fundamentalist and evangelical Christians what he called a divine “chain of command” in which men are placed between Jesus and their wives and children.
Much abuse occurs under the ruse of divinely assigned protector. Beware of any doctrinal claim that men and women are equal but have different roles — if all the roles with authority are assigned exclusively to men.
Much of today’s machismo political messaging — oddly, by makeup-wearing national leaders — is absorbed within church circles as well. The idea of filtering truth through Jesus’ life and teachings seems foreign to many professing Christians.
Recently, Adam Serwer addressed this matter in its broader social context in The Atlantic.
Such media messaging that pumps up perceptively strong, even abusive, male leaders advances the idea that “Americans are supposed to be impressed by these overgrown children showing off their masculine prowess while failing at their basic adult responsibilities.”
He states what is easily witnessed, particularly by younger women, today: “[T]he manosphere now tells men to lash out at others…”
“It encourages white men in particular…to blame their problems on a society that has allowed their lessers to compete with them…,” Serwer continues in his piece titled, “The Masculinity Scam.”
Adam Stanaland, a University of Richmond psychology professor, told Serwer that insecure men can feel pressured to validate their manhood by harming others. In other words, there’s a price families and society pay for male insecurities.
We see this reality when some of the loudest voices among us are pushing testosterone and dominance rather than compassion and integrity as marks of manliness.
Healthy masculinity shouldn’t be that hard.
Yet emphasizing the Christian life as “spiritual warfare” — rather than faithfulness to Jesus’ calling — allows for a warrior mindset that reflects patriarchal structures and gender dominance.
Historian Kristin Kobes Du Mez dug deeply into ways muscular Christianity perverts the faith in her 2020 book, Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation.
“The products Christians consume shape the faith they inhabit…,” she writes. “This is readily apparent in the heroes they celebrate.”
And those products — social media, books, sermons and more — promoting male dominance are abundant within and beyond religious realms.
Dominance always comes at the expense of others. Followers of Jesus, however, whether male or female, are called to exhibit compassion, serve others and seek justice.
While he multiplied some fish for a hungry crowd, Jesus didn’t seem to need wild game dinners, cage fights and weapon obsessions to teach men as well as women how to be faithful.
Being a man shouldn’t be this hard. It’s simply being a good person who happens to be male.
In the Gospels, Jesus has much to say about that for those who dare to follow him — whether preferring a rare steak or eating sushi with a fork.
John D. Pierce is director of the Jesus Worldview Initiative (jesusworldview.org), part of Belmont University’s Rev. Charlie Curb Center for Faith Leadership. Join us for the second annual Jesus Worldview Conference in Nashville October 12-13, 2026.