Likely, the six words I heard most often during my childhood were “Did you wash behind your ears?”
But a close runner-up is “Be ye kind one to another.”
The former six-word question is of unknown origin — perhaps passed down a generation or more. It leaves one to wonder how such obscure body parts deserved repeated warnings over all other dirt collecting spots on a kid.
The latter sentence, however, is lifted from the King James rendering of Ephesians 4:32. Unlike the bathing instructions at home, this memorized partial Bible verse addresses more important behavior.
Sunday school teachers likely invoked “Be ye kind one to another” in an effort to keep us from throwing Play-Doh at each other. But the meaning and value of that verse are deeper and more widely applicable.
The word “kindness” here is not referring to Southern politeness where you smile and hold the door for the next person (though that’s a nice thing to do) about whom you and your friends have gossiped all morning.
And the word kindness is not left alone as we learned it. The fuller instruction is: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Eph. 4:32 KJV
Since the verse begins with a conjunction, it is wise to see what precedes it in vs. 31: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clam our, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:”
Newer translations using older manuscripts and updated language make the intent even clearer:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Eph. 4:31-32 NIV
Bible scholar and gentleman farmer Tony Cartledge of Moncure, N.C., who washes behind his ears with well water, notes Paul’s instructions in the even broader passage are not about becoming Christian but for followers of Jesus “to live up to our names.”
“We don’t get our satisfaction from bitterness or our thrills from putting down others. We find joy in kindness. We find fulfilment in forgiveness. By this, we bring joy and not grief to the Spirit who lives within us,” Tony writes in Nurturing Faith Commentary, Year B, Volume 3.
So troubling today is the sheer glee from government officials — and those who put and keep them in power — over treating vulnerable people (or just people of color) in horrific ways that are far from kind and compassionate.
Pastor Libby Grammer of Lakeside Church in Rocky Mount, N.C., who did immigration work for a decade and understands the oft-ignored complexities and confusion, redirects the question from “what” one thinks to “how” one thinks about immigrants.
Those seeing it first and foremost as a “legal issue” may quickly and widely condemn any immigrant without citizenship. This too easily leads to demeaning such persons as not just criminals, but animals or even garbage.
“If our focus is the actual people involved, then we are more likely to care about whether the laws we have affect them in negative ways and then seek to make changes,” Libby writes in Christian Ethics Today, Fall 2025.
While a range of political perspectives on immigration, like other issues, is acceptable, there is no way the current dehumanization and family destroying government aggression align with Paul’s instructions or any of Jesus’ teachings and example.
All the laws, said Jesus in response to the question of the greatest commandment, depend on love of God and neighbor.
Defensive people can throw out some “but…(whatever)” — as if Jesus and Paul were naïve to what would happen in our culture — or offer some false equivalency.
There’s always an excuse for not doing the Jesus thing for people who prefer a more destructive and self-serving alternative while seeking to hold on to their Christian identification cards.
But the calling stands the test of time for those who sincerely seek to follow Jesus and not just want to ride his coattail to heaven.
To be “kind” in this context means more than not throwing Play-Doh when the teacher is looking. It is paired closely with being “compassionate.”
Ralph Martin, in his Interpretations commentary on Ephesians, warns: “We are not true to the church’s commitment to revelation in the New Testament when we reduce the message to a tame acceptance of moral truism like ‘Be neighborly,’ ‘Do your best,’ ‘Be patriotic.’”
Christian ethics, he notes, are grounded in the indicatives of what God has shown us and done in Jesus.
Paul’s instructions and Jesus’ example are always worth more consideration than the racist, fear-mongering media personalities who so often get the ears — whether clean or dirty — of those who claim to be Christian but choose other values. And then make all kinds of sorry excuses for doing so.
John D. Pierce is director of the Jesus Worldview Initiative (jesusworldview.org), part of Belmont University’s Rev. Charlie Curb Center for Faith Leadership.